Pain

 Welp. Job lost.

This time, its due to physical limitation. I can't work continually without having to stop and take breaks. I am headed to Pivot Staffing and Great Works tomorrow morning. I will probably go to the library first and fill out apps or call ahead and make appointments. But according to Indeed positions are open.. 

Mother doing okay, seen her about a month ago and called about a week ago. I was supposed to go see her this past weekend but as usual I was hit with a sick wave of depression and canceled. She understood but told me I need to see her sometime soon. 

I have to go see my father to grab tax mail and get it in Turbo Tax before April 15th. I get my last check Friday and will use it to pay phone bill and postal fee. I put my foot in my mouth when I told him Id give him a payment for holding my mail, now I have to pay the piper. Fail. 

Im honestly exhausted. Being lonely isn't the way to be. Im 35, have 0 friends and my family seems to operating on another level of existence. I can't wait to find another means of employment. My schedule was going PRETTY decent. Work, workout, write, read, study. Simple. Do need to start reaching out to old friends on Facebook though. They do send messages and try to video call I just never answer. 

I shut the TV and Music off for the last.. four or so days. Its like life around me transformed. Things are harder without crutches and vices. I drink White Claw every weekend, twelve of them, but its gotten watered down and boring. Facebook Instagram and Twitter turn into blurry blobs of useless data. I dont know.

I need to get in shape though. My body.. the organs in it dont move. And being beat down by work worry and stress dont help it. I dont exactly eat nutritional meals either so its not like I dont expect some kind of fatigue. But to not be able to do simple missions without breathing super hard is not good. I need treadmill action jogging action some cardio. For now, I found some Android apps that give me basic home workouts. Squats situps pushup pull ups jumping jacks bird dogs knee to chest etc etc. It definitely helps. What I need is an abdomen workout that works on my belly waist and lower back. After doing those for a few months I should be feeling pretty good. Still won't stop me from skateboarding around. 

I dont know. I miss stuff thats how I feel. I won't say things are boring, because they aren't. But its not how it used to be. But who am I to complain? 

Thats it. Try not to spend so much on fast food

PEACE