2-2

Today wasn’t all that great. But thats not why I am here.

When people look at me its like they see something that makes them uncomfortable or uneasy. What is that? What makes them look away from me as soon as I start speaking? I don’t remember it being like that when I was younger. People actually enjoyed talking to me. Whats changed? 

I was on the back porch, living out a shitty day, when the neighbor asked me if the dogs barking kept me up all night. I say I wouldn’t know because I sleep near the front of the house, but right when I said “I..” the woman sitting next to him turned away immediately, as if to say “Well he wouldn’t know anyway”. Whats with that? Very rude and snobbish behavior from someone who looked twice my age. But this isn’t the only occasion this has happened. 

See my voice is lighter than the average male’s, so I can see where brawnies and jocks might point and laugh and not take what I have to say seriously. My problem comes where I deepen my voice to hit the core of my vocals. Why would that be a problem you ask? Well thats when everyone frowns and wants to end it. So I don’t get it. I can’t win for losing. Honestly, tomorrow is another day, so Im done with this its old.

Woke up at nine. Went back to sleep. Woke up at eleven thirty. Made lunch. Ate with Heroes. Played some Sonic. Unlocked the next part of the game after beating the “Egg Bot Boss” or whatever it was. First stage in the second part pissed me off, so I turned it off and put in Tekken Tag 2. Beat it with Marshall Law and LiLi. Made some calls, set up a few missions and watched another episode of Heroes whilst cleaning a pig sty of DVD cases old sales papers and broom straws. The day just wasn’t quality. Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh was the feeling hour upon hour. Cleaned up some more, got hungry and thought about playing Tekken 3 to unlock some more characters. Went back outside, posted some UFO quick price guides online and struck up an inquire about a Gateway screen replacement. Got him the estimate and was told he’d contact me when he was ready. 

Came back in still feeling low. Booted up Resident Evil 6 and began Ada Wong’s chapter. Not bad, but kind of annoying as shooting the soldiers only causes them to mutate into enemies even worse then they were before. Got to a puzzle that took me ten minutes longer than it should have and before I knew it, a few more gun battles later I was on a sinking submarine. After activating the power box and opening the door, I happily zip lined up into a situation where I had to answer questions directly into a speaker box while defending myself from idiot soldiers, nasty venomous fly swarms and etc.. That pretty much ended that chapter. 

And now Im here with a headache. Heroes Reborn season premier was saved onto the DTV. Hopefully it hasn’t been erased. Thinking about watching it.. But that unsettling feeing might just ruin it. I’d lay down and shut my eyes, but that only attracts negative thoughts. There’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I need stable work so that I can save up and get out of this house.. Its not my kind of lifestyle.. I wasn’t raised for this.. Thoughts of hurting people deeply.. wanting to hear them suffer.. scream… wanting to see them bleed.. Those aren’t healthy normal thoughts folks. But who’s to say whats normal and healthy in the year twenty fifteen.. 

Be sure the expiration date on your groceries hasn’t been tampered with! 

PEACE