3-5

I can honestly say I started this blog purely out of boredom. Which.. can be a bad thing. Some of the best things have spawned from boredom. Actually, “boredom” is just just our bodies telling us its time for an action switch.  Or is it our brains that tell us this? I don’t know. 

I haven’t blogged in quite a while. Lately, has been a crazy roller coaster of a ride. Odd jobs here and there. Still writing flows. And yes, most definitely still gaming. 

But lately, I’ve spawned a new interest. I don’t even know if its new. Ill try and describe this the best I can. There is an undiscovered dimension that exist around words thoughts and emotions. Actually words thoughts and feelings only show proof of its existence. This, “dimension” doesn’t really exist around anything. The reason I am so interested in this “new” thing is because.. Everything has become so mundane. Playing games, reading books and the occasional night out on the town is all a guy like me could wish for, but those activities do begin to show age after about the eightieth time. I was taking part in things like.. Going to a club, witnessing myself drink dance and talk, shout.. have conversations with associates and friends but there was a missing.. element. A missing spark that made all of this feel worth it. Even when I go back and view these memories I always tend to say to myself “Man that was a hell of a time, but it could have been better”. Its like preparing a recipe and once its finished you remembered that you forgot to add a key ingredient.. Doesn’t ruin the meal or make your dish completely useless, but adding the missing part would have turned your dish into a perfect dish. 

That made me hungry. Anyways, reason in my bringing this up is that Im learning how this dimension works with everything. Though you can have a good time without it, but its probably best you make room for it to expand before believing you completely understand this dimension or space. People get rushy, you get impatient, etc. 

Besides that, gaming and working various odd jobs while attending interviews nothing much is really abound. Looking forward to driving this summer, doing a lot more bike riding and skateboarding. Blade Vibtantra timeline being reviewed torrents have been running and dead zone problem in dolphin has been annihilated thanks to controller configuration within the settings. Another day

Well alright. Only Netflix when its time to relax.

PEACE

3-3

Work is, well work. I think management will open soon.. I’m being trained to do just about everything in the store. Only things left to do are training modules and cashier. Other than that, clocking cheese. 

Gaming is.. not as fluid as usual but still great. I’ve been into these X-Men episodes for the last few days. “Watch, as I bring the purity of oblivion to your world”. Apocalypse. Demon’s Souls have seen upgrades as far as physical defense and attack as well as luck and weapon buffing. Using stones found out on the field to update my Bastard Sword and Axe up enemies dropped much quicker. Tekken definite endings being unlocked still a big bunch more to go. Mario Maker is insane Im up to about World 7 in that. PSP hasn’t been booted up in days. Vita collecting dust although Soul Sacrifice aches to be loaded. Started Halo 3 weeks ago. Gaming on the Kit Kat has halted thanks to low memory issues forcing me to delete apps and files. 

Lately its just been looking at vehicles, checking out wardrobe prices and downloading .eboots and .isos. Mainly DC roms and GC roms. Need to make some space though kinda running low. The terabyte is getting near its full. Also need to some how install a bigger hd on this computer. .isos take up some major space!

I need some new music. I downloaded a bunch of random artist but I haven’t really got into any of the albums. I still bump the favorites but I think its time for some new, fresh never before heard sound waves. I still make rap/hip hop but I mean like some kind of.. I dont know just something never heard. Casablancas needs to come back out. Or the whole band one or the other. 

Hmm.. what else.. definitely more reads Ive been posting way more on the book lately don’t know what that means umm thinking I want to get some new shoes and new coat.. and yeah. All that stuff. 

Welp I guess Ill go pass out. Good nights sleep means good right peep.

PEACE

3-2

So I’ve been at Dollar General for a few weeks now. I’ve got to say, somethings are better than expected while others are worse. But, its a job. Something I’ve been struggling to get, and I got it so step one complete. UFO, car and emergency items are up next. 

The mixtapes… Im coming off crazy. Im blacking on tracks, going back listening to them and hearing myself regress. Guns, biotches and weed.. anger mostly.. Ugh no not another one of these guys. Thats all I can think about.. Giving hip hop what it needs.. not more of the same thing.. anyways I just dabbing around right now trying to bring the fun back instead of being so serious.

Gaming, theres more Tekken.. NBA JAM on PS3 but the star of the show has been Super Mario Maker. Upon hearing the concept I thought, “Another way for Nintendo to rake in the dough”. But after owning, playing and exploring for a while I must say I’ve logged in many of hour building levels, playing with different enemy placements and stacking platforms high into the sky. So yeah; its safe to say that my opinion has changed. Im on my fourth world I believe, four levels per world so.. yeah.. thats saying something. Looking forward to Super Smash Brothers, Mario Kart and Hyrule Warriors but.. SMM is definitely keeping me comfortable until I can get those titles.

Friends.. Doing bad with keeping in touch with all of them.. Jerhon I haven’t heard from in quite a while and haven’t called.. Hung with Alex for a basically a whole day we had a great time but there is something missing from me and it bugs the hell out of me.. I don’t understand why or what it is but I get violently angry when ever this feeling strikes.. I think on this all the time.. on certain occasions tho it slaps me in the face or strangles me.. And I can’t escape its grip.. Chiefing a lot more good stuff too Ive been noticing has made a difference in how I perceive things as well.. detecting real and fake.. how much people mean what they say.. vibrations and pain.. its crazy. But yeah. Need to reconnect with those crazy pals of mine.

Family.. spoke to ma.. dad still hasn’t reached and many many other family I still must reach out to and touch but my cousin Erik got to me on Facebook, sent me his number and has texted me since then so Im happy about that. Still many barricades that must be broken tho on that.

I beat myself up a lot because I feel like I should be in a better place. I like to say that Im a man of standards and beliefs, not someone who will just accept anything form anyone because Im worth the choice of.. well.. choice. I provide those around me with the option of seeing their own choices instead of just going one hard cut route.. There are other ways to go.. Check them out. And that there is my goal. To see more options and routes with more and more people and to be able to listen when they speak to me instead of taking everything at face value. We all fight a battle.. a different battle.. its not meant to fight one another.. but meant to help one another with the battle that they are fighting themselves. What I am going though could possibly be something you’ve already dealt with.. and vice versa. Conversations on finding truth are hard to endure because we fear embarrassment, and we fear what the next person may think or even say about us. We can’t live with being laughed or scoffed at so we build a shield of immunity that dampens our feelings and eventually takes them over.. leaving us dull and able to deal with anything only that one way.. When in all actually there was about a hundred different ways..

I think too hard about stuff like this and it boggles my mind to no end, so I’ll just stop here. Just make sure when you purchase online, copy your tracking number onto something thats non digital.

PEACE